“If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?”

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Laws of Life

The First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

The Law of Salary: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

The Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

The First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

The Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

The Law of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Law of Grocery Bag: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

The Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

The Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

The Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

The Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

The Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

The Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

The Law of Bath: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

The Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

The Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

The Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

The Law of Theatre: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Law of PPB3K: You gain wisdom of the ideas in PPB3K through knowing & doing.