No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.
Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.
Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep!
ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY. So what? Who's in a hurry?
Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours!
Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop.
A good discussion is like a miniskirt; Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Children in backseats cause accidents; Accidents in backseats cause children!
A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister", the judge began, "you've been brought here for drinking" "Great!" the drunk exclaimed, "When do we get started?"
Divorce has become so common that my wife and I are staying married just to be different.
When a wife was asked: What book does you like the best? She answers: My husband's cheque book.
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"? The animals told him "Your tail is in the front".
Dad: Son, what do u want for your birthday?
Son: Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.