Friday, August 1, 2014
Until Death Do Us Apart Part 1
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held
her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked
me softly, why? I avoided her question.
This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are
not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew
she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly
give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love
her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement
which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my
company. She glanced at it and then tore
it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had
become a stranger.
I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she
cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her
cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her
writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with
Jane. When I woke up, she was still
there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep
again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions. She didn't want anything from me, but needed
a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we
both try to live as normal a life as possible. Her reason for this conditions
were simple. Our son had his exams in a
month’s time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she
asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding
day. She requested that every day for
the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever
morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together
bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed
loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce
intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day,
we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in
his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting
room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son
about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the
door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
To be continued ...
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