On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I
realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about
this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on
quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that
was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much
pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her
head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to
carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change
my mind at this last-minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding
day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day,
when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked
intimacy. I drove to office and jumped
out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would
make me change my mind. I walked
upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want
the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.
Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I
said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other
anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day
I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and
then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove
away. At the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write
on the card. I smiled and wrote, “I’ll carry you out every morning until death
does us apart”.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on
my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting cancer for months and I was so
busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted
to save me from whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push
through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving
husband.
Moral: The small details of your lives are what really
matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money
in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do
those little things for each other that build intimacy. And have a real happy
marriage.
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